Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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