do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
we should paint friendship bongs
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