And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
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im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
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You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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