lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Terrible idea I love it
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
