2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
