We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
