some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
