Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
