I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Randomize
