Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(864): View more from South Carolina

just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside

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(678): View more from Georgia

he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.

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(253): View more from Washington

She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.

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(757): View more from Virginia

sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.

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(910): View more from North Carolina

Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.

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(310): View more from California

If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.

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(631): View more from New York

She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it

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