she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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