I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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