I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
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He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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