I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize