gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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