Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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