I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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