im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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