i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
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