Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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