Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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