I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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