I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
