Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
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