my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
