wanna go halves on a baby?
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
