I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
