how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
