I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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