you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
19 People Confess What It’s Like To Have Sex With Someone That Is Transitioning
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.