Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(786): View more from Florida

Thats something to write home to mom about

(305): View more from Florida

Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her

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(786): Thats something to write home to mom about (305): Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her http://tfl.nu/y6ih

Replies (17) Good night (1744) Bad night (525)
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(913): View more from Kansas

The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.

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(913): The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them. http://tfl.nu/9puy

Replies (22) Good night (8292) Bad night (731)
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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.

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(780): I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop. http://tfl.nu/zx6t

Replies (31) Good night (5535) Bad night (1013)
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(414): View more from Wisconsin

I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?

(262): View more from Wisconsin

Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing

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(414): I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud? (262): Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing http://tfl.nu/ndin

Replies (20) Good night (6165) Bad night (1018)
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(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.

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(321): You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again. http://tfl.nu/dbiz

Replies (8) Good night (4351) Bad night (873)
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(586): View more from Michigan

Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"

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(586): Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate" http://tfl.nu/hjnw

Replies (6) Good night (1090) Bad night (3565)
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(609): View more from New Jersey

I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.

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(609): I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments. http://tfl.nu/kh7m

Replies (6) Good night (1532) Bad night (1197)
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(207): View more from Maine

Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway

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(207): Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway http://tfl.nu/yca2

Replies (2) Good night (2068) Bad night (815)
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(304): View more from West Virginia

Is there a law against that?

(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.

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(304): Is there a law against that? (717): Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life. http://tfl.nu/tyhd

Replies (5) Good night (3434) Bad night (707)
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(262): View more from Wisconsin

At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun

(262): View more from Wisconsin

Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating

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(262): At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun (262): Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating http://tfl.nu/mni7

Replies (9) Good night (2013) Bad night (530)
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(336): View more from North Carolina

You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.

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(336): You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed. http://tfl.nu/8v03

Replies (3) Good night (893) Bad night (356)
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(715): View more from Wisconsin

I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.

(1-715): View more from Wisconsin

PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.

(1-715): View more from Wisconsin

I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.

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(715): I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT. (1-715): PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING. (1-715): I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little. http://tfl.nu/04tj

Replies (15) Good night (2045) Bad night (562)
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(978): View more from Massachusetts

I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.

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(978): I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite. http://tfl.nu/sc9k

Replies (1) Good night (867) Bad night (256)
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(219): View more from Indiana

Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob

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(219): Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob http://tfl.nu/14km

Replies (4) Good night (374) Bad night (307)
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(909): View more from California

I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.

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(909): I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day. http://tfl.nu/6mst

Replies (1) Good night (418) Bad night (173)

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