he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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