She's JV to your varsity
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK