so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.