dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
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