I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
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When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
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Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels