Texts From Last Night

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  (775): View more from Nevada

  Are we in a gay sports bar?

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  (775): Are we in a gay sports bar? http://tfl.nu/4qe8
  Replies (10) Good night (1245) Bad night (743)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties

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  (206): put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties http://tfl.nu/njvs
  Replies (5) Good night (2256) Bad night (701)
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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?

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  (504): Aren't I supposed to sit on your face? http://tfl.nu/tzlx
  Replies (19) Good night (3488) Bad night (954)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."

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  (917): He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this." http://tfl.nu/rnir
  Replies (45) Good night (1117) Bad night (6651)
• Favorite

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...

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  (414): I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america... http://tfl.nu/w5je
  Replies (7) Good night (1098) Bad night (3356)
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.

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  (301): I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy. http://tfl.nu/8tq8
  Replies (49) Good night (1045) Bad night (5707)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.

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  (724): i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall. http://tfl.nu/3lmu
  Replies (12) Good night (7188) Bad night (965)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night

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  (508): That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night http://tfl.nu/uf42
  Replies (7) Good night (3308) Bad night (1055)
• Favorite

  (352): View more from Florida

  i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE

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  (352): i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE http://tfl.nu/5phb
  Replies (185) Good night (53095) Bad night (2855)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.

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  (609): and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience. http://tfl.nu/1o4v
  Replies (34) Good night (948) Bad night (5983)
• Favorite

  (802): View more from Vermont

  My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".

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  (802): My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary". http://tfl.nu/h26g
  Replies (5) Good night (3119) Bad night (1018)
• Favorite

  (517): View more from Michigan

  Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.

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  (517): Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B. http://tfl.nu/djpk
  Replies (12) Good night (2781) Bad night (1524)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.

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  (410): So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie. http://tfl.nu/7rxk
  Replies (13) Good night (1622) Bad night (762)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.

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  (412): I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call. http://tfl.nu/5iup
  Replies (17) Good night (2724) Bad night (698)
• Favorite

  (302): View more from Delaware

  Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.

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  (302): Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird. http://tfl.nu/awda
  Replies (1) Good night (782) Bad night (395)

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