There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.