i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
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Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
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As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.