yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
