Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
