I'm lost and stupid without you.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
