just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
