well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
The convent might be a nice break from real life
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
