I think I won the penis lottery.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Found your dick twin last night
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
