i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
