Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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