if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
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