I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
