Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Randomize
