No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
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