do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Randomize
