Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
one two three fourrrrnication!
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
