nut hugger
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
