btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
