I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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