I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Randomize
