I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Randomize
