I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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