My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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