"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
