I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Randomize
