I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
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