When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Randomize
