is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Randomize
