guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Randomize
