Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
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I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
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I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
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