She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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