Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
