He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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