i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
