toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
My cat gives me a boner
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
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