Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
