Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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