Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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