I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
